The Rise and Fall of Edward
by The Pink Panda17
Summary: Oneshot: Edward is doing errands. What exactly is Alice planning? And what does it have to do with blue lace? R


I woke up this morning to the sound of gurgling.

'_That doesn't sound right,' _and with that I stumbled out of bed, almost tripping over a sweatshirt on the floor. After a string of curses, I glanced at my bed to see if he was still there.

Empty. Even though I knew he just went home to change and pick up his car, I could not help but feel the knawing doubt at the pit of my stomach. But, I ignored it for the time being. In my groggy state, I managed to find the source of the distress. I stomped down the hallway and stopped at the bathroom door, which was wide open, and surprisingly, water trickling through the entryway.

I leaned on the door frame, arms crossed, torn between the emotion of amusement and annoyance.

Over the toilet, which was cascading water, stood Charlie, plunger in hand. He acknowledged my presence, turning towards me with an impish impression, like a child getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Oops," was all he said, trying to lift the atmosphere. I grabbed the towels from the towel rack and placed them on the floor strategically.

'_At least he made the gesture,'_ I noted, taking in the sight of Charlie, pushing the plunger half-heartedly into the toilet bowl. I sighed.

"I'll go call the plumber," I announced, too tired to question how it happened. I had a huge test in Calculus today and already had a bad enough grade in the class, so I couldn't afford another missed day of school fooling around with the plumbing.

Charlie gave me a small smile, "Thanks Bells. I don't have that much work today, just paperwork. I'll stay home and wait for the plumber. I know you and-", he paused, forming the name in his mouth, trying to make it seem casual but since Italy, Charlie hadn't forgiven Edward with welcomed arms as much as I had, so it came out more as a sneer , "_Edward_ have studied for it all night, wouldn't want you to miss school."

I allowed my self a small smile in return, even though this ordeal has disturbed my much needed sleep _and_ he insulted Edward.

"Thanks Dad," I said and with that I trudged downstairs. I pulled out the frayed yellow phone book from its drawer in the kitchen. I licked my index finger and started to flip through the pages rapidly, searching for the words plumbing, plumber, and bathroom. Finally, I found the right section and found two plumbers nearby, one in Port Angeles and another one right here in Forks.

I wrote down the numbers on the writing pad next the phone and continued to dial. The one in Forks was convenient, but since there was no competition in a town as small as Forks, he charged exuberant prices for his services. Tallying up mentally how much money I could spare from the overall budget, I thanked him and hung up the phone. I grimaced. I definitely could not afford their prices. I dialed the other number in Port Angeles. The rates were much cheaper and, with much wheeling and dealing, decided I could afford it. They said they would be there around nine. I politely ended the conversation and hung up the phone.

The clock in the kitchen read 7:00. I sprung up from the kitchen stool.

'_Maybe a shower would cheer me up,' _I thought as I skipped up the stairs. As I reached for the bathroom door handle, I remembered that Charlie messed up the plumbing. My shoulders slumped noticeably.

I considered getting back into bed, but I couldn't go back to sleep with Edward not here. I figured I could get changed and make myself something better than cereal for breakfast to cheer me up; maybe some homemade pancakes. Just as I had my shirt over my head, I heard the front door slam.

My heart skipped a beat. I faintly here from downstairs, "Hello Alice! How are you doing today," from an overexcited Charlie and Alice's melodic voice floating in the air.

I sighed in relief. _'I don't know why I am so jumpy lately. I guess my nightmares are just as real to me as they are awake. I can't afford the luxury to let my guard down with a price on my head.'_ About thirty seconds later, Alice materialized in my doorway.

She looked excited and determined, which reminds me of the look in her eyes when it is "Bella Barbie Day". I gulped.

"Ummm… Hi Alice. Why are you here so early in the morning?" I asked cautiously, trying to gauge her intentions. She smiled, unleashing the brilliance of her perfect white teeth.

"Edward had to take care of some errands so I thought I might drive you to school today!" she chirped, bouncing on the balls of her feet. I was so busy trying to read her emotions that I only now noticed the pink-striped shopping bag with two words in fancy, white cursive that made me blush.

"Victoria's Secret? Why?"

Alice now took her words into consideration.

"Just a gift between friends. But, promise me you'll put it on tonight."

I blinked. "Why exactly?" I questioned, curious and embarrassed beyond relief. I don't think my face could turn any redder.

"If you wear what is in this bag tonight, then…I won't take you shopping for a month," she pleaded with a trace of pain in the last part, hoping her trade-off would hold some interest. It did.

I looked at the bag, and back at her face, which was hopeful. Alice was one of my best friends. When she put on a face like that, I can't say no! Stupid cheater vampire.

I took a deep breath. "Fine, but I get to put clothes over it. Deal?" I reasoned.

She seemed appeased with this. "Thank you Bella," she cooed. She reached on her tip toes to hug me and kissed me on the cheek. She flit to from my side to look around the room.

"I've seen your room many times, but I don't think I've ever actually absorbed what I was seeing," she mused. She then walked to my window.

"My, you have a nice view from here. Washington is really a pretty state-," she rambled, but then suddenly held her wrist out and looked at her Rolex watch, "Look at the time! And you still have to get breakfast in! Grab your backpack quick; I'll shut the blind so nobody will be able to see in your room."

I nodded, looking towards the clock on the wall; it was 7:30. This inspired me to move even faster.

I turned my back on Alice to search my cluttered room for my backpack. Jut as I leaned down to pick up my backpack from my desk, I heard a crack behind me. I turned around and there stood Alice, wearing a sheepish expression.

"I think even I sometimes forget my strength. Sorry." And then I noticed that the cord was snapped clean off and the blinds were still raised. No getting it down today.

"Alice…," I whined, studying the damage. It's not like I need the blinds immediately though. It can be taken care of another day.

Alice then continued to shoo me out of my room so I could eat. My plan on a nice breakfast just flew wide out the window, so I chewed my cereal grumpily, Charlie in the living room, watching a rerun of football and Alice in the adjacent chair reading the Wall Street Journal.

It was amusing to watch her. Most of the times she would silently gloat, but other times, rarely though, she would be humbled by the latest, last minute trend in the stock market and utter some very colorful words, some I've never heard of.

When I finished towel-drying my bowl, Alice grabbed me by the hand and led me out into the driveway, where there was, of course, a lemon yellow Porsche 911 Turbo.

I shook my head knowingly. "Wouldn't want people to forget we were coming, eh?" I said in a sarcastic manner. The Cullens could try to blend in all they want, but it wasn't really working.

Alice just rolled her eyes. "Get in the car, Bella," she asked warily. I opened the passenger side and closed it with more force than necessary.

All the way there Alice prattled on about everything but nothing; from graduation dresses to even mink fur vs. traditional fox in the new Armani line. I drifted off into my own little world as she continued unfazed by my noticeably lack of attention. There surrounded by the things I had pushed aside in my mind for later: the Volturi, Victoria, Edward's proposal, Jacob…

"Earth to Bella," Alice practically sang, jolting me out of my daydream. I then noticed we were in the school parking lot with little time to spare. I walked brusquely out of the car and hurried to my first class, Alice keeping up right beside me with no effort.

I stopped right outside my classroom door. I finally turned around to face the pixie-like vampire. She started, "Edward has been a little held up with his errands. He can't come to school today-,"here is where my facial expression turned sulky.

Alice caught up right on it, "but I'll see you at lunch, don't worry! He'll be back by tonight, I promise." She then started walking away, waving to me in the process. I replied with a weak wave and trudged into class. I swore I could hear the ghost of a chuckle behind me, but then yet again, maybe my human ears were playing tricks with me.

The rest of the day was…well…dreary, and it wasn't the weather getting me down. I sat with Alice at lunch, along with Angela and Ben, as usual. She came with me home and we did our homework together.

I cooked dinner as Charlie and Alice chatted on the couch while Charlie was watching last night's baseball game. Once everyone has eaten their dinner (or at least pretended to for some people), I ushered Alice out the door with a short good-bye. She said to call her if there was any trouble. I half smiled; as if she wouldn't see it before it happened.

With nothing left to do but watch sports awkwardly with Charlie, I ran upstairs to her bedroom, hoping he was already there. To my great disappointment, he wasn't. This time, I let out an audible sigh. I flopped on the bed, tracing patterns in the ceiling mentally out of boredom. Finally, I decided to get dressed into my PJ's and maybe curl up and finish _Wuthering Heights_.

I got up and searched my messy room for any signs of my PJ's. A pink parcel on my desk caught my eye again. I grumbled. _'Stupid cheating vampires.'_

I kicked the bag under the bed and got back to my search for the missing PJ's. Almost instantaneously, the home phone rang, startling me half to death. I could hear downstairs Charlie's scuffled steps to the phone on the wall and a few seconds later, he hollered, "Bella, it's Alice."

I looked at the phone on my desk, and ever so slowly, I reached to pick it up. I could swear icicles were growing on the phone due to the rigid atmosphere this conversation was taking. And nobody has spoken a word yet! I was the unfortunate soul and started the conversation.

"Hi."

"Bella, put it on or else we WILL be having Bella Barbie Time tomorrow and let's just say it involves rollers, a cocktail dress, AND four inch stilettos, all whilst you will be praying to God you DID put it on, so do yourself a favor and do it," Alice threatened in a clipped voice. I shivered involuntarily.

"Fine. Whatever you say." I retorted with a hint of defeat and slammed the phone. My patience was on thin ice. Heck, it was the thin ice, ready to break through.

I ventured under the bed and grabbed roughly the pink bag from hell. I placed aside the tissue paper and lifted what was, or looked like, underwear. The next item was just a bra, plain a simple. But, yet I was gaping. The lace on this set was a royal blue, the type that reminded me of what Edward liked. It was truly exquisite and I would have taken more time to admire it if I weren't so ticked off.

The bra was modest enough, but gave me just enough oomph to actually give me cleavage. The underwear, on the other hand, was a thong that left little to the imagination. I took a large gulp. That sneaky little vampire has been up to something all day. What was she planning?

It seemed innocent enough. She did let me put clothes over this racy display, so it couldn't be all that bad. I was about to head out to the bathroom to change when I remember the plumber still had another day's of work.

Apparently, the plumbing in this house was going downhill way before Charlie messed it up and needed a larger crew tomorrow to get the job done. In other words, a shower was out of the question. Maybe I'll take a shower at the Cullen's tomorrow. I forgoed the shower and just wanted to get changed.

I turned to shut the blinds, in the unlikeliest, but yet slightest, chance of a Peeping Tom. But, as I recalled, Alice snapped the cord off and there was no privacy from the outside world now. It was strange: either Alice had turned rather twitchy in the span of a few hours or I smelled a rat.

I got into the bra quickly. The thong though was a little bit trickier. I finally got the right body limbs into their right hole, but now to get the PJ' on just as quickly. I groaned. I have to search for them again because, apparently, I forgot where I set them in the whole ordeal.

About ten minutes later of turning my room upside-down, I finally found them where I last put them, on the floor next to the rocking chair close to the window. I moved to bend down slightly and reach for them. Because of the close proximity to the window, a ghostly white face made me snap my head right up.

In mid-air was Edward, who had pounced from the oak tree in the front yard and was currently trying to get through my window. I immediately blushed. His eyes widened in recognition of my apparel, or lack of, and I swore if he were human he looked like he would be blushing.

In his eyes, a slew of emotions were brewing: love, lust, and…longing? But yet again, this happened in less than a second, so one can never be too sure. How he could want a plain-jane human was way over my head. In his admiration, he forgot that he was trying to get into my window and started free falling. He tried to claw at the window ledge, but couldn't reach it in time.

And for the first time in a century…

Edward fell.

…

Little did Bella, even Edward, know that hiding on the roof, behind the chimney, someone was watching them. She held up a tiny camcorder, recording the whole thing.

And, I might add, at an excellent angle.

Her pale finger hit the rewind button quick and replayed the video. Her soprano chuckle echoed through the night, her short, hair sticking out everywhere in the wind. She smiled.

"Excellent," she said in a mischievous voice. "Wait until Jazz gets a whiff of this."

_SO…what do you think? I don't think it was that much of a mystery what Alice was up to, being able to see into the future and all, but that's probably because I wrote it do you think I should do a follow up on the Cullen's reaction, especially Emmett's and Jasper's? Let me know._

_Plenty of useless fluff in there, but it is amusing useless fluff._

_Please click on the blue GO button! I love reviews_

_-The Pink Panda17 _


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